The end of any year is always a time for reflection. A new year is an opportunity to reflect and make changes. But really, it’s not just about a new year or a resolution; any time is a good time for a change.
Here’s a question to reflect on: Are you happy with your life right now?
Your answer may surprise you. There may be parts of your life that you are nailing, but other parts are not going so well.
Reflecting on our personal stuff allows us to assess where we have been in our journey, where we currently are and where we want to be. But also what changes we want to make.
Accept that if you choose to do nothing to change your life, you must be fine with the outcome of that decision
Bravely
Find Direction To Make Changes
I have reflected on this year and how out of control it felt. To regain some of this control, my overall goal in 2021 is to be more purposeful in my choices.
I want to make decisions that have a clear direction. I want to be active in gaining momentum towards my end goal — this may seem logical, but actually doing it is not always the case.
Sometimes, I start with a specific goal. Still, somehow I end up fluffing around and making watered-down decisions. At the end of the day, my goals look a little like what I wanted, but not quite.
I like to ask myself questions and try to answer them honestly.
- We all have stayed in a job despite the fact it is making us unhappy. Why? What would your life look like if this part of it were different?
- We have not ended friendships or intimate partner relationships with those who are not good for us. Why? What would your life look like without these people in it?
- We hold back on trying new things. Why? How confident and free would you feel if you challenged yourself to try a new hobby or follow through on that creative idea?
Look For Opportunities And Take Them
Ask yourself where you want to be this time next year.
Do you want to say you gave it your all? Or are you content saying you had some left in the tank, and that extra push may have made all the difference?
What is holding you back? — Fear? Embarrassment? The unknown? Is it you and nothing else?
What would your life look like if it included the changes you want to make?
Answer these questions honestly can help guide direction. You are in control of your life. Yes, we have no control over parts of our lives — we must work, pay bills, have responsibilities — all that typical stuff.
What we are talking about here is having some control through choices that affect your overall life direction, not the nitty-gritty day-to-day stuff.
It all seems impossible until it’s done
Nelson Mandela
Know That You Have Choices To Make Changes (Even Small Ones)
You alone have control to change the direction of your life the way you want it to be.
If change feels too hard, too complicated, or you don’t have the energy to do it — that’s fine. But, accept that if you choose to do nothing to change your life, you must be okay with the outcome of that decision.
Be purposeful in your decisions. Know where you want to go and make every decision you a pointed effort to achieve those goals.
Relate these decisions to the bigger picture you have created for yourself.
Be patient. The change will not happen overnight, but sticking with the plan will help get you there.
Be persistent. Get back on the horse when it throws you off. In the mud. In the rain. Damn you, horse!
Ask yourself the hard questions: Do I REALLY want to change? Am I driven enough? What do I need to change in myself to work a little harder, learn, strive, and not coast through my year and my life? Be honest.
Stop complaining and just act. Everyone’s job sucks from time to time (mine absolutely), and everyone complains about this (absolutely guilty of this myself). Still, there does come a time when enough is enough. This is where choice comes in: Do you complain and do nothing or change your situation and be happier?
Finally
If the last few years have taught me anything, it is the unpredictability of our existence. We can not foresee how things will pan out, but what we can do is give things a really good go. Have a goal and aim for it. The best that can happen is that you make it and succeed in what you hoped to achieve. The worst thing for me is wondering what if?
IPhoto by Greg Rakozy on Unsplash
